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Roberto Henry Ebelt

Em tempos de World Soccer Championship, vamos dar uma folga neste assunto, e ler alguns dark humor jokes sobre exercícios físicos, tais como caminhadas, para o pessoal que se cansa só de ver uma partida de futebol (soccer game - US); (football match - UK).

Antes, porém, leia esta definição:

FOOTBALL: Football refers to a number of sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball with the foot to score a goal. The most popular of these sports worldwide is association football, more commonly known as just "football" or "soccer". Unqualified, the word football applies to whichever form of football is the most popular in the regional context in which the word appears, including association football, as well as American football, Australian rules football, Canadian football, Gaelic football, rugby league, rugby union, and other related games. (Wikipedia).

Now, to the jokes:

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF WALKING.

• Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.

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• My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.

Where the hell he is = onde, diabos, ele se meteu.

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• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

To annoy: (verbo regular) incomodar, irritar, exasperar, etc.

To take a walk: dar uma caminhada, fazer um passeio a pé.

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• The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

To take up something: começar a fazer alguma coisa regularmente, especialmente um hobby.

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• I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

To figure out: entender, encontrar a resposta para uma questão.

To figure (sem out): calcular, supor, etc.

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• Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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• I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Flabby = flácido.

Thigh = coxa.

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• The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good, doesn't he?'

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• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Cross-country skiing: tipo de esporte em que um sujeito se põe a atravessar um país esquiando.

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• We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

To stick, stuck, stuck significa enfiar, inserir, grudar, ficar perto, agarrar-se a.

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• Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

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• You could run this over to your friends, but just e-mail it to them! It will save you the walk!

To run (something) over to (someone): levar algo para alguém.

To run over (someone or something): atropelar alguém ou alguma coisa.

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More joke at www.wackywits.com

Da série "estamos ralados" – "we are screwed": Do you know who the grandfather of Eduardo Campos was? Have you read the manifesto of PSB?

If you are not going to vote for Dilma, be careful with your choice. Vide: http://www.psb40.org.br/fixa.asp?det=1

Remember: the cure can be worse than the disease (a emenda pode ser pior do que o soneto).

That's all, folks. Have an excellent weekend.

If you have any questions about English, send me an e-mail.

Roberto@henrys.com.br